


Deep Breath

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2015 - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: Dan and Phil visit the Isle of Man to finish TABINOF
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 24
Kudos: 82





	Deep Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by @waveydnp
> 
> Thank you to Cal for the beta and being a top notch cheerleader <3

The seaside really does help him write. Deadlines are approaching and they’re in the final stretch before they release their bound baby into the world. 

Dan usually doesn’t allow himself to feel this much pride in himself, in something that’s come from his own messy brain, but it feels good.

It also feels good when Kath brings them coffee as he and Phil sit side by side in the lounge, laptops in hand, and makes comments about her boys being proper authors. At how she jokingly tries to sneak a peek, and how Phil turns into a child shielding his screen muttering something about how it’s bad luck for anyone to read it before it’s ready. Dan won’t question him. It’s kind of cute. 

He doesn’t come here that often, despite the Lesters asking him almost every single time since they’ve moved to the Isle and his hatred of being alone when Phil’s gone. Too many questions he doesn’t want to answer. Airport run-ins are a special breed of anxiety he tries to avoid, and the thought of one happening while en route to a private family gathering without a proper excuse is a risk he usually doesn’t want to take.

But this is good. He’s welcome here, like he always has been. It feels different now though. He’s not a moody teenager too afraid to speak unless it’s directed at him or Phil’s uni drop out boyfriend who sometimes relies on them to buy his groceries. He can look Nigel in the eyes without the underlying shame that comes with parental disappointment.

They’re successful in their own right now, more so than either of them actually like to admit to. Dan likes that he and Phil can take everyone out to dinner and pick up the check. He likes that sometimes they’ll get a business call in the middle of a conversation, that they have employees to oversee and people who value their input. He knows Phil likes it too. That it’s validation for this thing he took a chance on despite his parents’ advice. They’re proper grown ups now. 

They disperse the souvenirs brought back from Japan. Some of the sweet packages have been opened, but luckily everyone in this room is accustomed to Phil’s lack of self control. Kath thanks him and squeezes Dan’s shoulder before demanding to see pictures.

He knows Phil’s probably sent her most of them and more than likely told her every parent appropriate story from their trip over the past month, but Dan still indulges her. Because he hasn’t really gotten to tell anybody. Certainly not his own family. Maybe she’s indulging him. 

Dan gets out his laptop and slides through the pictures, pointing out the history of some of the sites and all the facts he can remember from late night Wikipedia dives. Nigel seems legitimately interested in what he’s saying and that rush of pride comes back. 

He clicks to the next picture, the two of them under a cherry blossom tree, Phil’s head resting on his shoulder. Kath hums happily but says nothing more, and he’s never been so thrilled about a lackluster reaction. It makes him feel normal in a way he rarely gets to. 

Phil explains how they decided to add a Japan page to the book and the nights Dan spent meticulously laying out the order. He likes how much they can say ‘we’ and ‘us’ here, not that they haven’t been an understood unit in this family for years now.

He likes how Kath has consistently said how proud she is of them both. He likes that his cheeks get hot when she tells him she pre-ordered 20 copies and expects an in person autograph when they arrive, so she’d better start seeing his face around here more often. He wonders if his grandma ordered one yet, or his mum. It reminds him that both of their families will all be in the same room in a few months. That might be scarier than the tour itself. 

The cake was an unexpected surprise. They’d already sent him a birthday card a couple weeks ago and Skyped him and Phil on the 11th. Kath said it’s family tradition and she wasn’t passing up the opportunity now that she finally had him here. If anyone catches the tears falling while they sing to him in the dimly lit room, they’re kind enough not to call attention. 

Phil takes him on his favorite walking path. He comes here enough to know the roads well. Neither one says why. Dan’s had enough phone calls from an anxious Phil pacing the cliffs while Nigel is gone for another treatment. 

He can see why Phil likes it. It’s impossible not to feel small here, with the massive waves crashing against unmoving rocks. They’re nobody here. Sometimes insignificance can be a comfort. 

He should come here more often.

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/615947867317764096/deep-breath-g-816-summary-dan-and-phil-visit-the) :)


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